Sunday, July 23, 2006

Free food and whatnot

Once again I found some foodstuffs in the lobby, presumably left by a departing tenant. It was a curious collection.
  • 1 jar of tomato-based pasta sauce
  • 1 jar of grape jelly
  • 1 jar of peach preserves
  • 1 jar of jalapeño jelly (mild)
  • 1 box of Rice-a-Roni (Spanish style)
  • Several loose pieces of almond Kisses
  • Several loose pieces of Dove chocolate
  • Several loose pieces of Chinese "White Rabbit" candy
  • Several loose pieces of some other form of Chinese candy (I'm pretty sure the name is not "autumn foot", though it kinda looks like that's what it says)
  • 4 cans of tomato sauce of varying brands and sizes
  • 1 can of cranberry sauce
  • 1 can of condensed milk
  • 1 half-empty box of plastic spoons
  • 1 package of "Good Vita" crackers
  • 1 bottle of ranch dressing, open and half-empty
  • 1 box of non-lubricated Trojan condoms
Some of these items I claimed with great joy. Others I passed over in silence.


Anonymous said...

You should know Payton Chung. Look for him biking around Hyde Park.

And then you should collaborate on a peer-reviewed journal.

Toby said...

I don't know him, but maybe I should. Who is he and who are you?

Anonymous said...

Toby... could you elaborate or elucidate any connection between your recent conversion and your present self-conception as an oriental?

you pal Jesus from the study.

Anonymous said...

... if I could add

Toby -- one thing that strikes me (especially through your exchanges with anonymous) is that your ego remains essentially "un-moved" or fixed. By that I feel that in the way you thought you were a better kind of atheist (a superior human being), I now think that you believe you will be equally a superior Christian (not in the traditional definition, but by your own).

My prediction is that eventually, only an eastern philosophy like Buddhism will temper that enormous ego of yours.

Not that I think having an enormous ego will be a problem for you as a Christian -- on the contrary -- I find Christianity houses egoists quite remarkably so you should do just fine. Anyway -- Good luck. (oh and nice intentional misreading of Nietzsche's "herd" from your earlier exchange. Your superiority complex was pretty evident in that post (as mine is in this one). Let us know when you find your version of Siddhartha's river. I'll be listening on the wind for your Om.

your pal Jesus from the study

Toby said...

Yo, Jesus!

Like I mentioned somewhere before, there's no going back here. If I were to become a Buddhist, it would be as a Christian Buddhist, if such a thing is possible, which I'm currently inclined to doubt--though that's just a wild guess, and I'm sure there are people out there who think the two are entirely compatible.

As for my ego, you have a pretty good idea what that's like when it comes to intellectual disputes, but only in that context.

Sadly, winning arguments probably doesn't have much to do with the kingdom of heaven (whatever that is).

And my ethnicity doesn't have anything to do with anything, you nut.

Anonymous said...

on the ethnicity thing: just wondered if your religious conversion corresponded with any similar "coming into one's ethnicity" type thing -- like a complete renewal of identity. Religious epiphany or conversion is often linked to similar reaffirmations of one's racial, cultural, or national identity. Clumsy verbage but you should get the idea -- not a nutty question at all.

your pal Jesus

Toby said...

I guess I can understand there being a connection between coming to a strong sense of ethnic identity, and converting to a religion closely linked to that ethnicity. Such a link is kinda lacking here, though, so I'm not sure what the connection could be in this case.

Anyway, no, my sense of ethnic identity, such as it is, remains the same.

Toby said...

And what is with people suggesting religions to me? Do I give the impression that I'm shopping around or something?

BTW, I have no idea what "Nietzsche's herd" or "Siddharta's river" is. I don't know a whole lot about either Nietzsche or Buddhism.

Anonymous said...

Yikes! I'd keep that shit quiet Toby and hit the books.

I'm not suggesting religions to you -- I'm making a prediction. It might take you 40 years, but that pony will come in.

Good luck....

your pal Jesus
ps - did you call Horban and tell him the good news?

Toby said...

You're a way worse proselytiser than any Christian I ever met. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) Since when are you even Buddhist?

Anonymous said...

Don't confuse diagnosis with prescription.

your pal Jesus

Toby said...

Seriously, are you a Buddhist?

scott said...

Hm. Maybe instead of discussing whether Toby is more Christian than he is Asian (or whatever), we could just tell some jokes about the box of unlubricated Trojans?

I'll start: Let's say you just happened to be in extremely urgent need of those condoms, (I know, I know; it's just a thought experiment), but you also required that they be lubricated. (I think you know why.) Do you select the condensed milk, the grape jelly, or the creamy ranch? You can also choose the jalapeno jelly, but be prepared to defend your answer.

I'm also going to spoil Anonymous' fun by telling you that he was referring to the novel "Siddhartha" by Herman Hesse, which clearly makes him an authority on other people's spiritual lives. Obviously he didn't think the book was important or interesting enough to just tell you this outright, though.

Anonymous said...

Scott -- Toby knows me. Jesus is a screen name he's familiar with. And no, I'm not Buddhist.

And that Toby is not familiar with Hesse or Nietzsche is not surprising. The SFU philosophy dept (were I cut my teeth too) has little depth, and very little expertise in existential philosophy. But that's no crime and can be easily rectified. Start with Kierkegaard-- then keep going.

And relax y'all. I'm just making a prediction that I think Toby will end up Buddhist (in part because writing out 7th Day Adventist or Zoroastrian was too difficult.) Is it wrong to predict (based on an understanding of one's behaviour, that perhaps the journey is not finished?)
Plus Toby never told us about the girl which might mean she's already out of the picture or remains just out of his reach. Either way he'll stay in his present faith because his ego's too large to allow him to flake out. My prediction is for the future.

Anyway -- as always Toby, good luck. And may I make a coffee shop recommendation for Chicago? Intelligensia! Great operation.

your pal jesus (from the study)

Toby said...

Aw, Jesus, I thought we were having fun. Now I'm not so sure.

OK, really seriously now: Do you want to have an actual conversation? If so, send me an email (see my blogger profile).

Toby said...

Scott: The jalapeño jelly is mild, remember.

Actually this reminds me of a funny story, involving habanero peppers--fresh ones--which never come mild. But this is a family blog, so I leave the remainder of the story to the reader's imagination.

Anonymous said...

Hello Anonymous Sir or Madam,

I admire your personality and intelligence so very much. If only we could all be like you. Will you be my god? Would you accept little people like me?